EX SERVICEMAN DONS FLAT CAP TO AVERT CATASTROPHE AT THE DUCK

EX SERVICEMAN DONS FLAT CAP TO AVERT CATASTROPHE AT THE DUCK

Flight Lieutenant Steve “Basher” Hurley, a member of the SAS, Special Boat Service, Royal Marine Commando’s and Royal Parachute Regiment, recently broke cover to assist with a life threatening situation that developed in a suburban public house over the weekend.

During a normal evenings drinking at his local hostelry, Basher became aware that a group of rowdy boisterous revellers were occupying a table near to his own.

Basher Hurley had taken his normal precautions when entering the premises earlier that evening, and had conducted his usual security sweep of the building whilst wearing his standard issue Flat Cap.

His trained eye had noticed the group of happy drinkers celebrating at the adjacent table.

He had mentally acknowledged all those in the building that he knew, and had made a mental note of those whom his memory did not register. He then took his usual seat with his friends who were also members of the close knit “Duck Flat Cap Society”.

His military training allowed him to arrange his seat in such a way that he was able to continue to survey the immediate area whilst enjoying copious amounts of Guinness. His copious drinking was under control although the use of a three pint pitcher as a glass had caused a ripple of whispers amongst his fellow Flat cap wearers.

The evening was drawing to a close when it became clear that the party of revellers who had been seated opposite Flight Lieutenant “Basher” Hurley appeared to be in some bother. A member of the party began to slip below the parapet of the table but was rescued before completely submerging below the wooden table. However, a few moments later it became noticeable to all, that the unfortunate member of the celebrating party had imbibed far too much alcohol, and was struggling to stay seated on his chair.

Minutes later, whilst being assisted through the door of the establishment, he fell and collapsed in the doorway.

Basher Hurley looked up from hid pitcher of Guinness and appraised the situation. He noted that a number of the inebriated party were attending to the prone patient, but that their appeared to be confusion amongst there ranks. A number of other people seated with the Duck Flat Cap Society also noted the situation and rallied to the clarion call for assistance. However, at this stage Basher remained silent and seated.

It was soon being suggested that the patient be lifted from the cold floor and transferred to his residence, which was only a few hundred yards away, by way of carrying his body upon an improvised stretcher, consisting of two pub chairs.

At this stage, Basher Hurley jumped in to action and was soon placing the prone body in to the recovery position. On checking his air passage and pulse it was considered that the patient was stable, but unwise to move at this particular moment in time. As Basher Hurley pondered his next move, the air of the pub resounded with the sound of the last bell. Flight Lieutenant Hurley stood upright in a state of shock , his mind frantically filing through the various options available to him and within an instant turned to those about him and stated -

“Ay up lads. Halt, I must buy a couple of pints as that’s the last bell. Don’t move the patient. I will be back shortly”.

With this Basher Hurley slowly paced across the floor to the bar, and placed his order for two pitchers of Guinness. These were soon poured, and as they settled, he returned to his fellow Flat Cappers awaiting his next sip of the bitter black stout.

Having ensured all was well with the black velvet, he returned to the still prone reveller, and initiated a lifting procedure that resulted in his being able to return to his place of residence without further assistance from the good Flight Lieutenant.

Basher returned to his table and surveyed the scene, slowly swivelling his head, ensuring that his flat cap was not dislodged from his thickly tousled head.

All was now quite and still and the event was over. Hurley swilled the remainder of his pitchers and after gesturing good will to his fellow Flat Cappers, slowly moved the exit and left the premises, acknowledging a job well done.

Moments later he was seated at home and writing up the evenings proceedings in his standard military issue journal, ready for onward submission to his handlers.

This completed he changed his clothing to his camouflage combat pyjamas and donning his standard sleeping Flat Cap, retired to his bed.