"DUCK FLAT CAP SOCIETY " GOLF TRIP SCANDAL !
Recent events have left certain members of the Duck flat cap society somewhat dumbfounded if not just a little unsettled.
Although a well earned trip to the Iberian peninsula had been pencilled in to the forthcoming agenda of the society, it is only in recent week's that final preparations have taken place and a venue secured.
At a recent meeting of the Duck Flat Cap Society's Golf subsection,the trip was discussed at length by the "Golf" sub section of the "Consumption Committee". It was unanimously agreed that although "Driver Chard of El Hadji Douife"would not be attending the Iberian event, he would still hold the post of "Society Golf Cart Driver".This would of course inconvenience those attending, but it was agreed, all be it by a small majority of members, that the sacrifice was acceptable in view of the outrage that would be felt by "the Chard" if he was overlooked.
However, it has now been confirmed that the post of "Golf Cart Driver"will now be filled by the semi alcoholic "Little Les the plumber" a part time plumber, failed ladies man and ex regular of the Duck, Red Lion and Stringfellows.
It is thought that he has recently stumbled across a substantial amount of Spanish peseta's that were the result of nefarious visits to the Costa Del crime during the early eighties. These funds had been deposited in one of his numerous properties, and due to constant use of alcohol and drugs he had forgotten all about the stash, until a couple of days off the source cleared his mind, and enabled him to recover the cash. After establishing that the peseta's could be exchanged for Euro's, the diminutive part time plumber and failed ladies man retired to the duck.
At a recent sub meeting of the Golf Section, it was mentioned that the committee was running short of funds, and at this prompt the small and engaging part time plumber offered to attend the event and supply the committee with funding for the foreseeable future. This was too much for the committee to miss, and a deal was soon struck resulting in his inclusion on the tour. His only wish was to be driver of the Golf Buggies, and thus this position was wrenched from Driver Chard, and unceremoniously passed to the minuscule plumber.
This news has been greeted by expressions of disbelief by the committee, and yet again members are threatening to walk away from the society. However, as with previous threats to leave, it is believed by many that after the dust settles on this sad affair, each and every member will remain ensconced in their usual seats, discussing the events of the day.
